Planting Seeds of Empowerment

 “You just lose hope that real help is available.” It’s a common refrain I hear in my counseling practice.  Sometimes it refers to mental health treatment that isn’t trauma-informed.  Sometimes it refers to systems that people are navigating that aren’t built on a trauma model of care.  Ultimately, it might look like this: An individual has a lifetime of trauma that has resulted in a belief that the world isn’t safe.  They’re referred to a counseling agency, but they go for their intake with little hope that it will do any good.  Maybe they were forced to go to counseling as a teenager because they were seen as the “problem” that needed to be fixed.  Or maybe they have other experiences with counseling that just weren’t helpful.  Maybe they grew up with rigid beliefs that you don’t talk about family issues with someone outside the family. 

They show up for the first hurdle, their long Medicaid intake process where they’re asked many invasive questions that activate their trauma.  If they make it through that first hurdle, then they have to go against the alarm bells screaming in their head that they’re not safe in intimate relationships, and sit week after week in a vulnerable relationship with a counselor.  At this point, they’ve already started to tear down some of the avoidant coping strategies they may have developed in order to survive what they did.  If the agency they’re at, the counselor they have, and the insurance policy that is paying for it can have the patience they need to work through this angst, they might get through this hurdle.

However, their involuntary trauma response is designed to protect them from the perceived threat.  So they might do things to test their counselor, like pushing boundaries or yelling and threatening.  Or they might miss appointments which goes against a strict attendance policy.  These aren’t always conscious choices, but without recognizing that and working with people’s trauma responses, often this is where treatment will fail.  Many other hurdles exist as well, including a lack of transportation, difficulty meeting basic needs, isolation and lack of community, challenges with processing trauma verbally through talk therapy, and losing insurance (sometimes right when progress is being made and the individual is earning just enough income to lose the financial supports they still desperately need).  Systems of oppression can further limit the ability people have to receive help because of prejudice, language barriers, accessibility issues, and a lack of equity.

Families often have more hurdles to make it through. Parenting is hard enough as it is, let alone parenting while trying to heal from your own trauma and navigating services for your children.  It’s hard to find child-friendly services and figure out babysitting. It’s daunting to learn and practice new parenting skills while parenthood is re-opening your own childhood wounds on a daily basis.  You might already have beliefs about yourself as a “not-good-enough-parent,” and it’s a vulnerable experience to reach out for help, hoping that you won’t be judged.  

Trauma can take years to heal from.  It takes strength, bravery, and grit to go through that process, especially in systems that are not designed to support and empower people through it.  

Our vision at the Restorative Center is to create a space that removes hurdles and makes the healing process more accessible and more sustainable.  Think about the scenarios above, and now imagine a space that is not beholden to managed care.  People can receive services regardless of their insurance status.  The staff and volunteers are all trained on a trauma model of care, which means they recognize the trauma responses, and they meet the individual where they’re at.  The organization is continually seeking to reduce barriers to services by providing transportation and other options for meeting basic needs.  The space is designed with families in mind, with play therapy, a child-friendly environment, options for childcare, classes and groups for families and children.  

Individuals and families can connect with themselves and others through play, movement, art, gardening, and other forms of healing that compliment talk therapy.  Efforts are continually being made to identify community needs and make services accessible.  The focus is on the individuals coming for support and what they need.  

This is our vision. It’s going to take a whole community to cultivate the little seeds we are planting today so that we can have a thriving trauma center in our community.  Together, we can empower individuals and families, and build hope that real help is available.